Chetan Bhagat has become Bollywood’s all time favourite author. Such is his fame that we too tried to exploit his ideas tad bit in our post, “If Harry Potter was written by Chetan Bhagat….”. But we agree to it has his books have got mass following for they are written for the literate, illiterate masses. The masses who are on a pseudo sojourn of reading books often find themselves groping for books that are written by Bhagat. However, since his fame has reached every corner of India, Bollywood looks upto him as a bankable author. Perhaps that is why he has been given a chance to even scribble screenplays. Chetan Bhagat has successfully elevated himself to a position decently indecent; we say so because we came across this, the review of #HalfGirlfriend.
This poem written by a “quora-ite” spells tears the book and the hubbub about it in pieces. We know not when will the film Half Girlfriend make it to theatres, but this poem is sure to be a hit in social media.
Chetan! Chetan! Who are you?
Where are you headed, do you have a clue?
I bought your book and read it through,
Trust me dear, there is nothing new!
A horny hero and a pretty heroine,
A prestigious college, stereotypic routine!
The story line is an absolute miss,
Front page ad in TOI, for a book like this?
The back cover talks about Hindi and English,
All that is just plain marketing rubbish.
This book breaks no language differences,
Hasn’t even escaped Bhagat’s prejudiced preferences.
I loved you once when you wrote good fun.
Best of all, ‘Five Point Someone’.
Since then you are stooping to your lowest low,
Half Girlfriend, your final blow?
Same story twice, can be an honest mistake.
But three and four times? Give me a break!
Name your leads and share your location,
I can write your next story to Bhagat’s perfection.
“Simple English is my style”,
Says Chetan Bhagat all the time.
I am happy with that, totally fine.
But excuse me mister, where is the storyline?
Your sexist one-liners are witty no more,
Don’t you remember, you’ve told them before?
You say you write for the rich to the slums,
Don’t demean their IQs, don’t underestimate them.
You are an author who could have been!
You’ve let it go for the silver screen.
Are you trying to increase you reader hood?
Or simply selling out to Bollywood?
There have been authors just like you,
Who’ve written good books and screenplays too.
But you’ve got too carried away and lost the act,
Quoting your Alma Mater to hide that fact.
Chetan O’ Chetan, Where are you?
I am not an elitist, I used to really like you.
Give us simple but also different and new.
Slow your star-chase and get real dude!
Ps: This poem was initially published as a review on an online shopping portal, amazon.in.